We plan to start trying for a second child when Ricky hits his second birthday. It took us all of four days to conceive the first time around, so I don't foresee any problems in that department. That said, I plan to enjoy having my boobs to myself for a year before they are once more inflated to the size of beach balls and used primarily as a food source for a hungry and growing little baba! Don't mistake me though, I am a major proponent of breastfeeding, for a number of reasons, and so there is no way I would consider bottle feeding my little one. I will gladly sacrifice a year of beauty for my child's well-being.
I've been asked why I chose a year and the reason is quite simple - I wanted to keep Ricky off of formula. It stinks! At a year he can start having cow's milk and I can start wearing what I want again. He eats three solid meals a day with snacks in between, and he's already drinking an abundance of water and tea from his sippy cup, so I see no reason to delay weaning. I had originally planned to start weaning him from the breast and feed him pumped milk at around four months, but I found, to my utter surprise, that I wasn't ready. I was enjoying breastfeeding my baby and the thought of letting him go so soon broke my heart! The first three weeks of breastfeeding were excruciating! There was no problem with Ricky's latch, but my delicate European skin was way too sensitive for such a vigorous endeavour! And my let down reflex was so strong it would made my entire chest ache. Ten months on it sometimes still does. So I was astounded when the pain passed and I discovered that it was something that I looked forward to! I decided to move the weaning date to when Ricky started teething - too self-explanatory for me to embellish. But when his first tooth popped out at six months, again I found myself just not ready. Oh, he would bite, but he soon got used to having a mouth full of chompers and now if I get bitten once in three weeks it's a lot!
And so, with my little man closing in on 11 months old, I have finally started weaning in earnest. It made sense to me to slowly cut out feeds rather than go cold turkey and, after a bit of reading, my reasoning was confirmed. Ricky had been on a schedule of four boobs a day - on waking, mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and before bed - for a number of months. About a month ago Rod and I had a 30th birthday to attend and as a result Ricky missed his mid-afternoon boob. He didn't even seem to notice, and he's not had one since. Yesterday I cut out his mid-morning boob. That one he noticed a bit more. He's a busy-body, our son, and doesn't like to nap often. But he always passes out after his mid-morning boob and will nap anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours. Getting him to sleep during the day without a boob will be more of a challenge... That said, this morning he went down for a nap sans boob after only 10 minutes of rocking and singing, and slept for two and a half hours! Mommy 1 - Ricky 0.
By the 10th of March he will be drinking only in the evening before bed. And as I type that my heart breaks a little. I'm going to miss this time with my baby boy. It's not something that can ever be recaptured, but I also know that I will have to slowly let him go, and let him grow up. I've drawn up this 'weaning schedule' not for him, but for myself, to help me slowly get used to the idea. Putting a date on it helps. Last week Sunday Ricky went on a nursing strike, refusing to drink from me for a day and a half. I'm not too badass to admit that I sobbed like a little girl for the better part of an hour. Weaning, as I have come to find, is much more difficult than we sometimes give it credit. But not for the reasons one would think.
I've only ever wanted to do what is best for my child. I think that is all any parent ever wants. Or at least I hope so. That is why I chose to breastfeed my son. I just didn't realise what a huge impact it would have on me. It turns out I was doing it for me too. Despite my rocky start, I can say with absolute certainty that breastfeeding my boy is one of the best choices I have made in my life, and I can enthusiastically recommend it, without a trace of irony.
In a month and a half my little man will be weaned. Yes, it makes me sad, but it also makes me happy. Happy and proud that he is growing up and becoming the sweetest little boy. I'm so glad I have taken the time to cherish every little moment with him. They really do grow up so fast.
Here's to lacy lingerie and embracing the bittersweet.
Smiles,
Mommy
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